There is much deliciously enjoyable
literature circulating about in
the form of books, newspapers and
magazines. There is also much pleasantry
to be had in the reading of letters
from friends, small messages or
even from loose pages, displaced
and forgotten. But what is really
entertaining is the reading found
in almanacs, the most popular of
all known data banks. Rich deposits
of well-dosed wisdom, within the
reach of all curious fingers! How
interesting are these conveniently
small books made of cheap, ordinary
paper and commonly distributed every
year by enterprising laboratories
and drugstores! How useful and inoffensive
are teachings and simple hints found
inside, always spiced and spliced
with lines of good solid humor inserted
alongside the cough syrup ads! If
the information is useful or not
doesn’t really matter to curious
eyes… The reading of the almanac
is an enjoyable tonic for the health
of the heart and cool, soothing
shade for weary eyes. Who knows
this better than any other is my
friend and comrade, the philosopher,
Antônio Joaquim, insatiable
and untiring devourer of all material
that is considered pastime reading.
One
afternoon an old treasure came to
my hands, during the annual organization
of my library drawers. It was a
very old 1983 Sadol almanac of the
thirty-eighth edition, distributed
by the Almeida Pharmacy, of Taiobeiras,
Sao Paulo state which belongs to
an old friend of mine, Antonino,
one of the most admirable personalities
that I have ever had the pleasure
to know. What a deliciously wonderful
thing, Ms. Lisbela, mainly for yourself,
who knows so well how to appreciate
the good things in life! It’s
almost like the advertisement that
the City Hall invented for our city,
that “Montes Claros is beautiful
and delicious.”
Look,
Ms. Vera Lúcia, wife of Antônio
Joaquim, what a useful culture Greek
has been for your famous husband
from Grão Mogol! These words
with Greek radicals, for example,
which indicate fears and manias:
Acrophobia – abnormal fear
of heights;
Claustrophobia – abnormal
fear of closed places;
Gerontophobia – abnormal fear
of the elderly;
Icon mania – passion for signs
and images;
Megalomania – mania of self-greatness;
Misogamy – fear of marriage;
Misogyny – fear of women;
Logo mania – mania of continuous
speaking Pyromania – abnormal
incendiary mania;
It’s not necessary for Antônio
Joaquim to jot these words down,
because they are already very well
known to those who played…
on the football team of the Melo
neighborhood…
In
another part of the almanac we are
shown how dangerous the automobile
is! Did you know that since it’s
creation, especially after the invention
of the Ford Model-T, that those
wonderful and astounding machines
have already done in with over twenty-five
million people, worldwide! A slaughter
surpassing all known wars perpetrated
upon the face of the earth during
this century. The fact that China,
the most populated country in the
world has the lowest number of automobile
accidents makes one think: It’s
the world’s poorest country
in relation to the number of cars
in circulation. In China, there
is only one vehicle for every 11,600
inhabitants. That is even less than
the statistics show for our nearby
Pedras de Maria da Cruz, a neighboring
small and sleepy hamlet.
And
how about this? The Japanese consume
daily, more than one thousand snakes
as medical remedies, even though
the commercialization of these reptiles
is absolutely forbidden in that
country.
There, snakes are displayed alive
in windows of specialized shops,
so that clients can handpick their
preferred choices. A cooked snake
is considered an infallible cure
for tuberculosis, rheumatism and
cancer in the Far East. Here in
Brazil, in some remote places of
the northeast, when hunger presses,
the snake has many times proven
its worth in alleviating growling
stomachs.
Let’s
learn more about honey: Did you
know that one pound of it is the
fruit of the nectar of seven million
flowers? One hundred grams of it
contains as many calories as two
chicken eggs. Honey also exerts
strong influence over the body’s
blood pressure, lowering it. In
its pure form, it contains the equivalent
of seventy to seventy-five percent
of grape sugar, The blood absorbs
more than ninety five percent of
the honey found in the body with
no problems whatsoever. Doctors
indiscriminately recommend the use
of honey for all persons of all
ages.
Alright,
that’s just fine, but can
we be sure that our honey producers,
over there on the west side of the
Cintra neighborhood continue to
have the bees and flowers, the grapes,
and all the necessary almanac formulas
and hints for the proper maintenance
of the honey industry. That is what
the last page of the city newspaper
always complains about.
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